Road Trip
by GirlDressedInBlack
Summary: Bill just misses grabbing onto the shuttle and the Master pushes them forwards, away from the hospital and out. They smash through floor after after floor of metal, the sounds echoing through the whole ship- then out. They push through the side of the ship and they're hurtling through space. Thus begins the most unlikely road trip ever. AU from the beginning of 'The Doctor Falls
1. Chapter 1

The Master forces the handle and they shoot off, just managing to blow up the wall in front of them before they crash. The Mistress shrieks in excitement, arms in the air as they smash through layer after layer of metal, only picking up speed.

"I think I'm going to be sick." Shouts Nardole helpfully, "And I don't even really eat anymore." He adds as they force their way through yet another floor.

In a flash of flesh tone a human farmer yells at them angrily, waving a pitchfork

They keep going, crashing through level after level, leaving smoking craters throughout the ship.

The Master laughs as the android holds on for dear life, the chair creaking beneath his fingers. The Mistress laughs at the thrill of travelling again- they're going so fast! It's exactly like a roller coaster with more destruction.

Then they're in space.

All three of them look at each other in shock as they shoot through the side of the ship and out into the universe.

Eventually they slow, the Master easing back from the pedal before they shoot straight into a star.

"I think I misjudged." He says evenly.

"You think?" Asks Nardole, raising an eyebrow sarcastically, "You're lucky I had the forethought to bring up all the shields on this thing and reroute the energy used to power the cybermen straight into this little thing. We'd be dead if it wasn't for me." He says proudly.

The Master just looks at him in annoyance, trying to decide whether or not he should just attempt to strangle the man.

"Yes, well done dear. Very clever." The Mistress says softly, still staring at the star as it attempts to burn out her eyes. Nardole preens and both he and the Master look back at her, one in pride and the other in disgust.

"Are you crying?" Asks the Master, sneering at the Time Lady.

The Mistress focuses back on the interior of the cabin, looking past him.

"I- it's something that happens now. I just- it's beautiful." She says in explanation, gesturing at the star before them with one hand as she rubs her tears away.

The Master turns away with a groan, grumbling about his future incarnation and resting his head on his arms. Maybe he could push them both out the door, watch them get sucked into the sun and fly away. It would be a beautiful irony- the Mistress finally learns to love the stars and he pushes her into one. She should thank him when he does.

Nardole meanwhile looks at her in surprise.

"Are you having an emotion?" He asks, staring at her.

She looks back at the sun and nods, tears relentless in their path down her face.

"Yes. I rather think I am." She says quietly.

The Master makes a sound of disgust but Nardole just continues staring at her.

"You've turned good." He says in wonder as she keeps crying.

The Mistress can only nod.

"I can hear it singing." Missy admits, biting her lip.

* * *

Meanwhile back at the ship's very fast bottom...

Bill stares upwards as the ship shoots out through the ceiling.

"Doctor." She says softly, dropping to her knees and lifting him into her arms.

"Doctor." She repeats, shaking as she cries.

Tears fall, soundless against the clamour of the cyberman city. Soundless against her worry and grief.

Unseen the tears collect together, a small pool on the rooftop which grows bigger than it should until a girl forms from it.

She has a star in her eyes.

"Come with me now." She says softly, extending her dripping hand to Bill. Her face shows only kindness.

Suddenly Bill notices the silence.

Still carrying the Doctor she makes her way to the roof's edge and looks out.

The city is silent, cybermen crumpled where they stood, all lights out. Humans look around in confusion.

Bill looks back at Heather.

"They've stopped. They're gone!" She exclaims, joy overtaking her as she cries again.

"They have. The bald man did it." Confirms the star-eyed girl.

Then Bill remembers.

She looks down confused.

"But- I was converted- how am I not like them?" She asks, looking over at the puddle girl.

Heather smiles.

"You're human. I turned you back." Heather explains, "I could change you again if you like." She offers but Bill just smiles, sweeping her into a hug.

She presses their noses together and then they are kissing.

When they pull away Bill is dripping water onto the rooftop.

They both laugh, arms still wrapped around each other.

"I said I'd wait for you." The girl says with a smile.

And Bill remembers again.

She turns back to where her cyber-body lays collapsed, the Doctor safely on top of it but unconscious.

"He-" She starts, feeling tears prick at her eyes again.

Heather holds Bill from behind, resting a chin on her shoulder.

"I can take us back to his Tardis. He'll be okay there." She says, "We can leave him a note if you like. Explain everything. We could even visit every Sunday." The star-eyes girl soothes. Bill places her hands over Heather's.

"Yes- I would like that. He's- what's going to happen to him?" Bill asks quietly.

Heather smiles against her neck and Bill can't help but smile too.

"He'll be reborn. Like a phoenix." She summarises.

"I like that." Bill sniffs, "And I like you."

Her wonderful puddle girl laughs into the desolate city where survivors are already picking themselves up.

"I like you too." She says, kissing her again, "Why would I have come back for you otherwise?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Yes- good! You hear the stars sing now! What else? Are small possibly disease-ridden creatures going to fly in and help you do the washing?" The Master mocks, arms crossed as he leans as far back in his chair as possible.

"You know- you shouldn't be so rude to yourself." Nardole comments, peering around his chair, arms also folded.

The Master sneers at him.

Missy looks at the Master in pure disgust, tears still on her face but crying abated for now.

"Why the bloody hell would I do _washing_?" She spits out. The Time Lady leans forwards in her chair, "Are you madder than I remember being? No self-respecting me would even _consider_ doing any kind of washing when there are perfectly decent slaves to do it for them."

"I prefer the term 'guard'." Nardole huffs.

The Master laughs, clutching his knees as he bends double over them.

Then he stops, a perplexed look coming over him.

It's the calmest both Nardole and Missy have seen him since meeting him.

He turns.

"What if it's really delicate and you don't want it getting damaged?" He asks, completely serious.

The Mistress snorts.

"No. Don't even bother. Get something that you could regenerate in without it burning up." The Time Lord goes to interrupt and Missy holds up her hand preemptively.

"No. I know what you're going to say but no. Lace underwear is still uncomfortable and unpractical as a Time Lady- it's not just a male thing. The Doctor still does not take enough notice in what we wear for it to be worth it." She says.

The Master rubs his goatee, nodding solemnly.

"I'm going to try and remember that." He promises.

"You don't." The Mistress says bluntly.

The fact that Nardole isn't either bright red or blanched white is testament to the last seventy years of dealing with two occasionally disturbingly amorous Time Lords.

Instead he pastes on a smile only barely disguising the grimace he wears.

"So. What do we do now?" The non-Time Lord asks.

In unison the two- or should that be one?- Time Lords turn towards him, matching looks of bewilderment on their faces.

"Oh. I forgot he was there." Says the Master.

"Me too." Admits Missy. She waves her left arm in the air dismissively, right arm bent at the elbow which rests on the chair's arm.

"I don't know. We can't go back now- the ship's got a massive hole in it- and we can't stay here because we'll die and that will be boring." She leans towards the Master, both hands pawing at the left chair arm as she tilts her head and pouts.

"What do you think honey?" The Mistress croons.

The Master blinks, adjusting his position on his seat. The beginnings of a smirk come to his lips as he tilts his head up.

"Well dearest- I think we should probably stop off somewhere to refuel and stay for a little while. All your talk about washing and clothes has made me realise that I've been living in slums for far too long and daddy needs a shower and a new wardrobe." He says.

Nardole wrinkles his nose in horror and Missy gags.

"Rassilon's arse! Did you really say what I think you just did?" The Time Lady says, face frozen in disgust with one eyebrow raised far too high.

"What?" The Time Lord asks, turning around properly, "What are you talking about?"

"He did." Nardole affirms, looking like he's smelled something really awful.

"What?" Whines the goateed man, "What are you going on about? What did I say?" He asks in pure confusion.

"Did you-" The Mistress says, pausing to shudder, "-just refer to yourself as ' _daddy_ '?" She asks, horrified.

"Well- yeah." The Master confirms, "I thought you could hear?" He snarks.

"Why?" The Time Lord asks, expression dropped back into confusion only milliseconds after he's snapped at his future incarnation.

The Mistress shivers again, eyes closed tightly.

"Just. Just don't. Don't say that word ever again as long as you live in any form." She says, hand outstretched towards him in plea.

"Yeah- that would be rather great." Tags on Nardole, still looking at the Time Lord in an extremely disturbed manner.

" _Be back on Sunday! Star Girl and your gay granddaughter xx"_ The Doctor reads. His eyebrows furrow in confusion as he paces the TARDIS grating, letter held in his left hand as his eyes scan over the eleven words on the sticky note he'd found on his head upon waking up. His right is curled around his chin, index finger caught on his bottom lip as he stops and looks up to the ceiling.

"Which one of my gay granddaughters? What does ' _xx'_ mean- did they forget the third one? No. That wouldn't make sense. When even _is_ Sunday relative to now? Do they even _mean_ Earth's Sundays?" The Time Lord says aloud.

He looks back at the note, scowling a little.

"Oh- Bill. It's her handwriting. Of course." The Doctor says, smiling at his triumph even though there's no one around to see his genius in action.

"Didn't know she was my granddaughter but hey- you learn something new every day. That means it's going to be an Earth Sunday. Still doesn't explain the ' _xx'_ though. I wonder what that means?" He questions.

~Meanwhile on some beach on some planet somewhere~

"Wait- do you think maybe that note might have been a bit too confusing for him? Like- I know he's really clever but he's also like- super old?" Bill asks Heather, turning her head to the other girl who has decided to reform herself wearing cheap novelty gold star framed sunglasses.

Heather just smirks a little, eyes flickering down for a moment which makes the corner of her lips twitch upwards a little and Bill's stomach do brilliant-awful things before she looks into Bill's eyes.

Or should that be Bill's glasses?

Heather's reformed her in sunglasses too and a decidedly more revealing outfit than she'd been wearing which does wonders for Bill's concern that Heather maybe might not have actually seen her in that way and maybe Bill was just being super, super gay.

But no. Heather is obviously also super gay.

"Don't worry." Heather says eventually, smiling as if she knew everything Bill had been thinking, including about the rather cute bikini the star-eyes girl was currently wearing, "Even if he doesn't he'll get it when we go back to visit." She says, rolling over onto her back on her beach towel.

The girl props herself up on her left elbow, giving Bill the most alluring smile she can manage as she pulls down her glasses enough to look over the top at the other girl.

"Would you mind doing my suncream?" She asks.

"Whu- no. No! Definitely! I _really_ would love to help you with your suncream." Bill emphasises, swallowing.

The fact that they really don't need suncream anymore is a thought Bill doesn't bother thinking about.


	3. Chapter 3

Missy and the Master just wouldn't shut up- I honestly could have kept going for a lot longer.

Anyway- sorry for the wait- next chapter should be up on the 5th of August.

* * *

"Let's just- let's just go." The Mistress says, looking out the side window with the extremely obvious intention to never look at her younger self for the next ten minutes at least.

"Agreed." Nardole says as he starts the shuttle up again.

The Master merely grumps, upset on being ganged up on by both his younger self and one of the Doctor's pets.

"Are we nearly there yet?" Asks the Master, sprawled out over his chair as if he were literally dying of boredom.

"No. If we're where I think we are it will take another hour or so to get to somewhere we can stop and refuel before making our way towards one of the bigger intergalactic stations." Nardole says patiently, holding in the sigh at what he knows is to come.

"But you drive so slowly! I drove faster when I was a crisp! Rasillon- our cousin _walked_ faster when they were two-hundred and ninety years into their last regeneration !" The Master complains.

Nardole then sighs.

"Well this is the speed I'm going to drive at because I don't want to die and the only one of us who is guaranteed to come out of this fine whatever happens is you." He says, locating the radio switch and jabbing the button. The signal is mostly static but some strains of what Nardole thinks is Ardassian pop comes on.

"We are out in the sticks, aren't we?" He mutters to himself as he calmly keeps driving.

"It's true- our cousin did walk faster!" Missy shouts over the noise.

Nardole stops the shuttle, puts on the handbrake (the shuttle was never meant to go at the speeds they had pushed it to), turns off the noise and turns to look at her, eyebrows raised. She is slumped against the window, one forearm lying against the frame as the other supports her head. She catches his eyes and rolls her own.

"Just keep driving before I dismember either of you and force the other to eat your spine." She says dryly, inspecting her nails.

"You wouldn't really do that." Nardole says with certainty before turning back and taking his time with starting the engine and radio up again.

"The question is whether you want to try me." Missy hisses under the noise, sneering at the back of the chair in front.

The Master catches it and looks back at her, eyes very deliberately trailing down her body and back up again as the smirk on his face widens.

The Mistress stares back, eyes alight and fixed on his face. She leans forwards and gnashes her teeth.

"Stop flirting." Nardole mumbles without turning away from the controls as they set off again.

* * *

They manage to reach the refuelling station without any murder and Nardole sets about finding out what kind of fuel the shuttle uses, clicking through settings and buttons.

"I'll just be a minute- please don't get out of the shuttle." He asks before heading to the machine at the side of the car to select the right fuel.

"Who do you think you are? Our _mum_?" The Master spits incredulously, arms crossed as he slumps back in his chair.

For one moment Nardole pokes his head through the open door.

He raises his nonexistent eyebrows.

"Yes. On second thought I should lock the doors to prevent you from killing everyone here." He says calmly, disappearing again.

"No- wait! What are you doing! Don't leave me on here with _him_ \- you'll come back and we'll probably be bumping uglies or- or- adjusting the settings on your chair so it ejects you out the roof mid-flight!" Missy hisses over the sound of typing.

"Oi- I'm you! What are you whining about?" Complains the Master, leaning back to look at Missy.

"Well I'm the prettier one- I've got more status to lose if we did the horizontal tango." She says plainly, not noticing the door shut beside her as she turns to face the Master.

" _Excuse me_? _You're_ the prettier one? Have you seen this face?" The Time Lord responds, said face crumpling in outrage as he points to it.

"Yes- it's all round. Makes you look like a baby with a goa- _tee_." Missy taunts, "I have a distinguished facial structure and a characterful nose. Much more elegant- I could cut people with my cheekbones I'll have you know." She continues, turning her head to the side and tilting her face up with fingers delicately curled under her chin.

"At least I don't look like an old crone! Your nose makes you look like a witch- eaten any children lately?" He purrs.

Missy scowls.

"You're just jealous because I match my Doctor." She sings as she folds her arms and looks away defiantly.

" _Jealous!_ " The Master sputters, almost falling out of his chair, " _Jealous_? As if _I_ could be jealous about you having _your_ Doctor? He's all old and moralistic and gruff- and- and- _Scottish_. He's not even just Northern! He's gone and made himself all humany! All- 'where's Bill?' this and 'I'm the only one who can fix this' that! My Doctor is far better than yours. In fact- I think you're jealous of _my_ Doctor." The Time Lord insists, smiling at his older self in a smug manner.

"You think I'm jealous of _your_ Doctor." The Mistress drawls, kicking her legs up over the side of the chair and lying across it.

She huffs an incredulous laugh, shaking her head softly.

"No. No, no, no." She says amusedly, smirk playing across her lips.

"The Doctor has _always_ been moralistic and humany. It's why he's so fun. He's finally showing his years on his face like a real Time Lord too- unafraid to look old and not looking for approval. Now try and tell me that isn't attractive?" The Mistress says softly.

"Don't even try and pretend you don't like the accent- you're me- I _know_ you like the accent. My Doctor played house with me for a human lifespan- brought me take out and everything. I don't see how your Doctor could compare." She finishes with the tone of someone who thinks they've won.

"He put you in a box and let the egg man watch over you. The tin man told me that." The Master replies flatly, raising his eyebrows.

Missy blushes, hoping the rush of blood to her head from being upside-down would hide it if her younger self bothered to look.

"Well- technicalities. Depends on your point of view. He bought me a grand piano. And a chandelier. And all the chairs I asked for even though I really didn't need them all and he was really confused." She says quickly.

"Right." Mutters the Master, rolling his eyes at his future, "Good to know I'm a hopeless schoolgirl in the future."


	4. Chapter 4

Next chapter is on either the 7th or 14th of October.

* * *

Moments later Nardole walks in calmly in silence.

His face is blank in a studied way which makes both Time Lords turn to him in curiosity.

The android slams the door shut, engages the shields and takes off at the highest speed the shuttle will go.

His face remains a mask the whole time as he stares forwards, through the window, silent.

"Woah!" Missy screams in delight, thrown back into her chair, "Now this is my kind of ride!" She shouts over the sound of the engines.

The Master doesn't look quite so pleased, grip white-knuckled on his seat.

"What the bloody hell are you doing, you heap of scrap metal!" He shouts over the Mistress' continued enjoyment, leaning forwards to glare at the man sitting beside him.

Then his face falls into contemplation and he sits back down in his seat.

"Have we paid?" He asks, almost lost by the mix of screeching metal and screeching Time Lady.

Nardole's hand tightens around the lever he's pushing, lips tight as he continues to look only forwards.

"Well the thing about that is-" He begins before heaving the lever and bringing them to a stop which feels almost like impact with their speed.

The Mistress is thrown forwards with a shriek of terror this time as she puts her arms out to prevent her from going straight into Nardole's chair. Instead the seat belt holds her back and she gasps, eyes wide as her hearts beat uncontrollably.

"I think I just regenerated a little bit." She says, hand going to her chest as she stares forwards, eyes distant.

"The thing is that we don't actually have any money." Nardole says uncomfortably, ignoring Missy.

The Master justs looks back at him.

"So you just left without paying?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah! What else do you expect me to do?" Nardole says. He frowns at the Time Lord who seems somewhat upset.

"Well I'm sure you could have worked something out. You can't just not pay for things. I'm surprised the Doctor is okay with that kind of thing." The Time Lord retorts.

"Are you- do you _really_ have a problem with me committing a small theft? You remember that you're a murderer and have destroyed enough planets that half a galaxy has just 'disappeared', don't you?" Nardole asks, incredulous as he scans the Master's face.

"You're- you're really bothered by this?" He says, clearly shocked.

"I'm not- don't be _stupid._ I _obviously_ don't care at all- I do it all the time." The Time Lord replies quickly, arms crossing as he looks away.

Nardole snorts, turning back to driving.

"Yeah, and I'm a Zygon." He mutters.

The Master does not dignify this with a response, pointedly ignoring the most mortal of them.

* * *

The Mistress turns, a veritable cloud of plum chiffons lifting about her legs as she poses in front of the mirror, this way and that. She fixes an innocent look on herself, lips parted and eyes full of youth, in the mirror and it stares back at her for a moment before disappearing in a flurry of movement as she moves again. The chiffon falls back softly to the ground draping elegantly from her waist. She smiles.

Nardole looks at the Master in disgust as his eyes move over his older self.

"Really?" He asks, non existent eyebrows raising at the Time Lord.

The Master snaps his gaze away, not guilty at all or hiding the fact he was looking.

"I'm allowed to appreciate the fact that I am a very beautiful woman, am I not?" He declares the question, chin held high.

Nardole just pulls a face and goes back to selecting the most lasting looking clothing from the decidedly high end store.

The Mistress turns to them then and smirks, drifting straight over to the Master, eyes fixed on his. She lays a hand on his shoulder, fingers curling over the back possessively as she smirks.

"To answer your unsaid question it is incredibly wrong for you to think of yourself in that way- quite presumptuous really." The Time Lady says, lips parted and eyes fixed on his as they stand, breaths apart, his hands hovering over her hips and her other hand finding a place on his. Her eyes are dark with amusement, heavy lidded as she gently tilts her chin down, letting her breath fan out between them. She pronounces every sound precisely, eyeing his lips.

Then she pulls away, spinning out her skirts again, smirking even more than before as the Master blinks at her unseeing.

"These pants fit well." He says, devoid of tone.

Nardole pulls a face and tries to pretend he hadn't seen or heard that whole exchange as the Mistress whirls back into the changing room, hopefully to change back into her clothes. Nardole has no idea what he would do if she did anything else.

"Right!" He says, voice high, "We're buying an outfit each from here and then we're going somewhere with clothes that are actually practical." The man says tightly.

The Master is still standing stock still and says nothing.

The Mistress on the other hand obviously is listening by the 'Give him half an hour- he's in a state of shock.' that comes out from behind the curtain, voice dropped back to sarcastic drawl.

Nardole doesn't deign to comment on that.

"You're paying." He says, patting the Master, still frozen, on the shoulder.

"I'm paying." The Time Lord replies blankly, eyes wide where she had stood and nodding a little.

Nardole nods, beaming.

"Glad you see things my way."

* * *

Eventually they do escape from the perils of formal dress and the increased danger of Time Ladies with a penchant for finding the most revealing outfits possible in a store just to taunt her past self who knows he can do nothing about it and embarrass their de facto nanny.

Nardole is extremely glad to be free of that.

He'll be even gladder for the two- or is it one? He really doesn't want to keep thinking about that- Time Lords to get a room.


	5. Chapter 5

Next chapter's on the 9th of December.

* * *

Nardole sighs, staring at the Time Lords in front of him.

"What do you mean you don't have any money left?" He asks, looking to the Master who frowns.

"Well it's hardly _my_ fault. _Someone_ has a very expensive taste in clothes." He complains, turning to Missy who steps back, hands up which rustles the many, many bags of clothes she has on her arms.

"I'm sorry but when you look as beautiful as I do you deserve to wear good clothes." She argues, looking incredulous at the very fact that her past regeneration is arguing with her.

"And you're sure you have nothing?" He asks Missy again before they can start arguing over who spent too much on clothes for the third time that evening.

The Mistress huffs.

"Yes, mum. I don't have money because I've been sat in a box for the last seventy years after being trapped on a prison planet waiting for my execution for far too long while the Doctor ran around doing nothing of importance." She says without pausing for breath, eyebrows steadily raising as she speaks.

Nardole sighs again, pinching his brow.

"Yes, yes. Okay. How are we going to find somewhere to stay overnight though?" He asks.

"That's our problem. That is our current problem so if you could both _please_ focus on that it would be great." Nardole says emphatically.

The Master contemplates shoving the metal man off the walk way they're currently standing on but given he's made almost entirely of metal and he would first have to get him over the railing the Time Lord shelves the idea for now.

"You know it's not too much of a problem." He states irritatedly, "I've spent a good deal of this regeneration eating crap out of a human food van and sleeping in trash heaps on _Earth_. A night in an alleyway won't kill any of us."

The Mistress raises her eyebrows at him.

"This regeneration _does not_ sleep in alleyways." She says plainly.

There's silence as Nardole stays out of their disagreement and they both glare at the other, knowing arguing with themselves is futile.

"We could…" The Master trails off.

Missy nods.

"Yeah- that could work." She says consideringly.

Nardole's eyes switch from one to the other, only getting more worried.

"What are you planning?" He asks, already wishing he wasn't involved.

The Time Lords smile at him in unison.

* * *

The Mistress holds her head high, stalking into the electronics store with the Master following behind her.

"Look dear, I've already told you we can fix it ourselves- we don't need to bring it into the store. Come on- let's go home." He wheedles, attracting the attention of the sole sales clerk left at the end of the day.

Missy strides ahead of him, stopping suddenly and whirling around.

"Really?" She asks, "You really think you can fix this when it's just been sitting around for two months waiting for you to look at it?" The Mistress spits.

"You mean you don't believe me?" The Master sneers, grabbing her arm tightly as he catches up to her.

She pulls herself free and turns fully, letting tears glisten in her eyes as she hits him.

"I _mean_ that you haven't touched me in about four months- why should I believe you'll get around to fixing _this_ when you won't even try to fix _us_!" She cries out, waving a television remote from the 1970s at him.

The Master grits his teeth.

"You think I would want to be with you when you're running around with everyone and anyone else while I'm working?" He snarls, leaning towards her.

The Mistress goes pale, biting at her lip.

"That doesn't matter. They don't matter to me. I just- you don't pay me any attention-" The Time Lady starts to babble at him, fingers grabbing at his coat pockets as she tries to get him to stay. The Time Lord pushes her away, glaring.

"Get off me. Don't touch me. Come home when you're going to stop messing around." He bites out, walking back out and turning the corner, leaving her there with the sales clerk who gently steps forwards, compassion on her face.

"I'm so sorry. He's so old-fashioned. I'm sure you can find someone else who would love you for who you are." She says kindly, laying a hand on Missy's elbow as she sees the tears dripping down her face.

The Mistress scrubs at her cheeks.

"I'm- yes. I'm so sorry that you had to see that. Harold just- well." She struggles for words, swallowing, "He's old-fashioned." She parrots, taking a ragged breath.

"That's okay! Don't worry about it! He clearly doesn't deserve you. Now why don't you let me look at that and I'll see if I can fix it." She says soothingly, gaze fixed on Missy's face.

The Mistress nods, placing the device in the assistant's hand and putting on her best 'thinking about more pressing things' face.

The sales clerk looks it over for a moment and goes extremely pale.

"Um. This is. This is an antique- I'm sorry but- this is worth trillions of credits. I don't actually know how to fix this. You just- you just had it?" She stumbles over words, four eyes bugging wide as she looks between Missy and the remote control, stunned.

"Honestly I don't even know what it does." The clerk admits in awe then looks properly at Missy.

"I'm- I'm sorry. That's probably not what you need at the moment- I. You should take this back." She states hurriedly, pushing the device back into the Mistress' hands.

The Time Lady is momentarily taken back and finds herself blushing. It doesn't take long for her to switch to a soft smile.

"I. No. Take it." She replies, not grabbing the remote back. She has no use for it anyway and she's going to get this person fired tomorrow probably.

"What- no. I don't know you. Are you? Are you sure?" The clerk asks, utterly confused and wanting to accept.

Missy lets her smile grow and her eyes drift to the woman's lips.

"Yes. I'm very sure." She says, letting her gaze flicker back up to the woman's double set of eyes then down again.

Gently she leans down and presses her lips to the stunned sales clerk's.

"Maybe you're right. Coffee sometime?" She asks, smirking.

The sales clerk just stares at her like a deer faced with headlights but a UFO.

"Uh- yes. That would. That would be nice." The woman replies, barely breathing.

Missy pats her cheek gently.

"Good. I'll find you." She says then skips out the shop as happy as anything.

Not that the clerk is paying any attention to the huge break in character given the fact she's holding potentially the keys to her own house and a nice ride and maybe even a coffee date.


	6. Chapter 6

Next chapter's on the 10th of February.

* * *

Just a few alleys down and a few minutes later the Master is leaning against a wall, inspecting his nails with a bland expression as Nardole sits on a crate, carefully holding the bags off the floor because as slow as either Master would be to offer to take them they'd be quick to complain if they touched the ground. Missy leans against the other wall, one heeled boot kicked up to rest against it too as she folds her arms.

"How long does it take to hack into a hotel's booking files and some random person's bank?" The Mistress complains as Nardole keeps looking forwards intently, frowning a little.

He holds up a hand, one finger pointing upwards as he gestures for her to be patient.

"I'm not just hacking into anyone's account." Nardole whispers despite the lack of people around them, "I'm hacking into the accounts of one Madame Karabraxos- she gets better security after this." He says, eyebrows drawing together.

"Not that these aren't difficult enough." The android says, barely breathing though it is habit now rather than necessity.

The Master laughs, rubbing his hands.

"Oh brilliant! If that's the one I'm thinking of she still owes me for a game of poker!" He says gleefully.

The Mistress pauses then scowls,

"I can't believe she got away with that! I completely forgot- she still hasn't repaid me now! That's a lot of interest stacked up. Choose the best place you can find!" She declares, foot coming down heavily.

"It's not like the Doctor would even care- she has too much money and she doesn't do anything with it." The Time Lady mutters, partly bitter that she's agreeing over something like that with the Doctor and partly because she doesn't have immediate access to those funds.

She could really use enough money to buy a decent sized planet or two now that her stay with the Doctor is most likely ended.

The Master nods his head up at Missy in a gesture she almost misses.

"How did you get out without them noticing something was gone anyway?" He asks, clearly extremely bored if he's resorting to asking things which should be more than obvious.

The Mistress smirks, tilting her chin up.

"The old kiss and run trick. Don't exactly want anyone coming after us over a dead body." She says, "Good work on those doors by the way- I'm presuming you got the cameras too?" The Time Lady says drily, one eyebrow raised.

The Master smiles this time, briefly bringing his laser pen out of his pocket.

"You really should upgrade- sonic is so last millenia." He complains.

"Says the previous regeneration." She snorts, rolling her eyes.

"You only like your umbrella because the Doctor gave it to you." The Time Lord sighs, slipping his pen back in his pocket and crossing his arms too.

"And- you're just jealous because the Doctor didn't give you anything except a frown and a shocked expression." Missy taunts, adjusting her hat pointedly.

Nardole stands up between them.

"Could you two stop flirting for the twenty minutes it will take to get to the hotel?" He asks, taking the contact lens from his eye and placing it back into the container. It whirs slightly, cleaning and disinfecting the device for reuse as Nardole looks first at one, then at the other Gallifreyan.

"We're arguing- not flirting." They say in unison, each turning to glare at the other.

The android sighs.

"Only twenty minutes." He repeats to himself, trying to reassure himself that either they can manage that or he can last that long until everyone is alone in their own rooms.

* * *

They manage to reach the hotel without any loss of limbs and only a slight loss of temper on Nardole's part. If his sanity wasn't long gone he probably would have lost that too but as it is he is none worse off on that front.

The check in goes fine, the person behind the desk handing over the keys and their gaze passing back to some point in the distance as soon as they've delivered instructions on how to get to their set of three rooms.

Nardole pointedly takes the middle numbered key, looking at Missy and then the Master firmly. He says nothing until all three of them are stood in the lift and going up.

"I don't want any funny business from either of you." The android says seriously, "You go into your rooms, get yourselves sorted and go to sleep or whatever it is Time Lords do to kill time." He emphasises, pointing at the Mistress, who rolls her eyes, and then turning to point at the Master, who raises his eyebrows.

"And what are you going to do to stop me from burning this place to the ground?" He asks rhetorically.

Nardole just raises his eyebrows back and the Master puts his hands behind his back, huffing.

"Fine. Yes mum." The Time Lord mutters back sarcastically, receiving a righteous nod from Nardole.

Behind his back the Master uncrosses his fingers and steps out of the lift first to go and find his room.

* * *

While the Mistress takes a lengthy bubble bath including candles, about ten different scented bottles, a complimentary bottle of wine left on the countertop in the kitchenette (not too bad although she does prefer things with more burn) and spends a whole hour getting her nail varnish perfect on both her hands and feet, Nardole takes a perfunctory wash of the parts of him that are organic enough to still produce dirt and gives everything else a very thorough check over.

The Master however is concerned far more intensely on other matters. He takes a quick shower, glad to get rid of all the grime from his rather prolonged stay on the ship and sighing in contentment at being clean again.

His break doesn't last long though as he quickly dries off, towel drying his hair though there's probably a hairdryer in the bottom draw of the sleek cabinet in the bathroom.

He laughs a little as he looks in the mirror and does his eyeliner- it wouldn't do to look anything less than beautiful should he see anyone on his way to the basement or snooping through the offices.

He dresses in one of the new suits they've bought- traditional to today's tastes but fitting enough for him- and admires himself in the mirror.

When he's finally done preening he heads to the door, opening it sharply and stepping out into the empty corridor.


	7. Chapter 7

Last chapter on the 7th of April!

* * *

As it happens nobody is aware of the Master's presence long enough to appreciate the effort he'd put into his eyeliner and before long he is in the basement, fire safety precautions deactivated and the first of a pieced together set of incendiaries in his hand as he sets it with enough time to set the rest and get out.

"I leave you alone for five minutes and you start trying to blow things up again!" Complains a very thick accented voice of Earth origin after a heavy sigh.

The Master spins, one eyebrow raised as he mentally tries to place the accent.

His gaze lands on a group of three and something in his mind clicks into place.

The Doctor!

His eyebrows raise further as he looks first to the man but finds his focus sliding off of him to the woman standing in the middle wearing a very ridiculous outfit. He wants to burn it just a little bit.

Of course.

The Master rolls his eyes.

"You had to go and be a _woman_ , didn't you?" The Time Lord sneers, crossing his arms, the active incendiary still in one of his hands as he looks her up and down, letting his disgust show on his face.

"You didn't even give yourself any fashion sense." He states, looking her directly in the eyes.

The Doctor opens her mouth, eyebrows descending in her own displeasure.

"Excuse me! I have brilliant fashion sense!" She tells him, head turning to look at the humans on either side of her, "Don't I fam?" The Time Lady asks.

The question goes unanswered as the other woman nudges her.

"Uh- Doctor. I think you have other priorities here?" She reminds her, eyes fixed on the Master as they should be.

"He is holding some kind of bomb." The man emphasises, pointing nervously to the Time Lord's hand.

The Doctor doesn't focus back in on the Master, instead stepping forwards and spinning to face them properly.

"You don't agree with _him_ do you?" She asks, aghast at the thought.

Finally the humans shake their heads.

"No. Of course- you look great. Can you do your thing now?" From the man.

"Well it takes a little bit of getting used to but I suppose it's cool." From the woman.

The Doctor seems satisfied at least and either ignores or does not notice the dubiousness in the woman's tone and words. She walks forwards, as careless of the fact that he's dangerous as usual.

"Do you really think that you can do anything when you're all female?" The Master mocks, comfortable with the distance between them and it being enough to give him forewarning of anything she is going to do.

The Doctor's face wrinkles up a little as she stops suddenly and unfolds her arms, holding them in a pose he recognises from a long time ago.

"Sorry love." She says and the Master is confused and a little bit sad for her poor depth perception and then he's going down.

The Doctor sighs, lowering the lax body to the floor from behind as the her that was on the other side disappears like a light turned off.

The humans stare at her in confusion, stumbling forwards as they come forwards now, questions spilling out of their mouths.

"Hologram and venusian aikido." The Time Lady says simply as she feels for the Master's pulse.

She nods a little, finding it then looks up at Ryan.

"Think you could turn the sprinkler system back on while I get rid of these?" She asks, hands full of bombs in a way which looks anything but safe.

"Uh. Yeah. Yeah. Give me a few minutes." The man says, backing away uncomfortably from the weapons and going to the main control board on the other side of the wall from the entrance.

Yaz bends down as the Doctor gets out the sonic and begins buzzing it at all the metal discs, still crouched over the Master's body. Her nose wrinkles.

"So how long were you pretending to be the hologram for?" She asks, eyebrows raised just a little in incredulity.

The Doctor looks up and blinks.

"Oh- right back from the TARDIS- you humans are ever so easy to trick, especially if you aren't given any reason to doubt your beliefs." She responds honestly.

"You know that's really speciesist." Yaz complains without any real heat, folding her arms and straightening to her normal height.

The Doctor digs her arms under the Master's knees and back, managing to manoeuvre him into an easier to grab position.

"It's true though. Humans aren't the most perceptive species. You should see the Krim- seventy-three eyes. Now _they_ are a perceptive species." She says, standing and managing to pull the Master up with her with a groan. She staggers as she holds him in her arms, grimacing.

"I always forget how heavy Time Lords are." The Doctor complains, "Back to the TARDIS quick with this one and then we'll go check on Graham." She says.

* * *

When they have finally restrained the Master to a sufficient degree and taken away any of his technology lest he should escape the Doctor, Yaz and Ryan head off to find Graham.

After checking the open file on the reception screen which shows room reservations it proves quite easy really. She still remembers Nardole's various fake names and it's not hard to spot the rearrangements which Missy and the Master have always been fond of with their names.

"Right!" She says, spinning on her heel to face her companions, "Off we go- almost done now!" The Doctor grins though there is some sadness to it.

She begins to walk away and so misses the concerned look her companions shoot each other before they follow, jogging a little to catch up.

* * *

The Doctor breathes out, brushing her fingers through her hair a little, suddenly self-conscious.

"Might be better if you guys stay out here?" She says, eyes not moving from the door in front of her, "Graham should be in the next room if you want to help him convince Nardole." The Time Lady offers distractedly.

"You alright?" Ryan asks, laying a hand on her shoulder.

The Doctor grins, gaze finally flickering to something that isn't the door.

"Course I am! Why would I not be?" She says in an entirely unconvincing way.

Ryan pats her shoulder, letting his hand drop after, and Yaz squeezes the other one.

"We'll be in the next room if you need us, yeah?" She says as she passes behind her.

"Yeah." The Doctor agrees, gaze already back on the door.


	8. Chapter 8

The Doctor waits until the humans are gone and pulls in a trembling breath.

"Right. You can do this. You do this all the time. Making things right- that's your whole job." She reassures herself than grimaces, "Except the pay sucks and we don't really want this to be right but hey- the future must go on and all that." The Time Lady prattles on, fist clenched by her sides as she stares intently at the door, leaning forwards slightly as she tries to make herself do anything that isn't just turn around and leave.

"Come on. It's not that hard- even humans can knock on doors. You've knocked on lots of doors in your time- what's one more?" She asks herself, frowning as she once again remembers what should happen after the knocking on the door despite her attempts to repress thought on it.

"Okay now- come on. You're just being silly." She complains, forcing herself to take one step forwards and just rap squarely in the middle of the door. Almost instantly she jumps back.

She knows that the door didn't try and zap her but it feels like it should have and these nerves really aren't helping with anything and what if-

The door opens.

The room beyond it is somewhat dark but even if it was pitch black the Doctor is sure she'd be able to see the figure sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I knew you'd catch up eventually." She says softly, almost bitterly but not quite, and the Doctor can't help the small, sad smile which forms on her lips.

"Of course you would. You've always been brilliant." She says without missing a beat, somewhere between a murmur and a whisper, as she steps into the room.

Gently the Doctor closes the door behind her and lets her eyes adjust to the dim lighting, back just leaning against it and hands behind her back as she just stares at her old friend who is reading the carpet intensely, eyes scanning back and forth over unseen patterns.

"Mm." It's almost a laugh but too somber for it.

The Doctor steps forwards again, crossing quickly to the Mistress and taking her hands from their light grip on the silk skirt over her knees and holding them both between her own. She kneels before her and feels the familiar warmth thrum beneath her palms.

What light there is catches on the polish on Missy's nails, a dark burgundy, and on the wetness of her eyes.

The Doctor raises her eyebrows, gently rubbing her thumbs in circles on the back of the other Time Lady's hands.

"You really knew, didn't you?" She asks, looking away from the fear the Mistress has almost managed to hide.

"I always know when I'll see you again." The woman responds after a moment, squeezing the Doctor's hands, "I feel it it my bones."

She clears her throat a little and the Doctor looks up again. Her eyes are rimmed with red and she drags her teeth across her bottom lip, painted a deep red to match her nails and sniffs, lips twitching up into a heart-breaking smile for a moment.

"It's like rain in the desert." The Time Lady says, voice quavering before she regains control.

The Doctor takes the Mistress' face with one hand, the other pulling both of Missy's to her chest, between her hearts, as she leans in towards her.

"You know what happens when we fix the timeline, don't you?" She whispers across the distance, eyes closed.

Gently, sweetly, the Mistress presses her lips against the Doctor's, both hands cupping her cheeks as she pulls her closer and then they are breathing the same air for just a second and then they are apart again, foreheads resting against each other and arms around each other's shoulders and neck.

"Yes." The Time Lady whispers after breathing in, "I do."

They are both silent for a while, just breathing between them.

"I'm sorry." Thirteen whispers, eyes slipping closed as she pulls Missy closer.

"Mm." The Mistress hums again, certainly not an 'it's okay' but something that's meant to reassure as much as those words would.

Then they're kissing again and there's something resigned in it in the way which Missy curves into the Doctor's hold and presses her fingers so deeply into her flesh that it should etch her in some irrecoverable way- more than just in her memory.

"You've been drinking." The Doctor whispers, eyes closed when they part. It's not quite an accusation.

She feels the other Time Lady nod, movement carrying her head too where they're pressed together.

"Wasn't going to face this sober." She murmurs and it should be funny but it's so achingly sad.

They are silent, each just listening to the other's breath as they try to cling to the moment before everything that will follow.

Eventually the Doctor breaks it.

"I think that you're out there still." She whispers, fingers running up Missy's arms, "Not in the form you are now but I have to believe that you exist even when you aren't by my side." The Doctor's voice is low and hushed, a secret between them.

The Mistress can't help but bring their lips together again in response, desperation only coming through clearer as she kisses her again and again, in no way unreciprocated by the Doctor.

They're interrupted by a knock on the door and a voice.

"You alright in there Doc?" Comes a rather grandfatherly voice.

The women part slowly, not quite ready to part.

Seconds hang in he air before the Mistress blinks and the moment is sealed behind her eyes.

Graham calls out again.

"Your companion I assume?" The Time Lady says, arching a brow and nonchalantly rubbing beneath her right eye to brush away the tears. She sniffs a little.

"Yeah- companions though this time." The Doctor says then stands, extending a hand to Missy, "Would you like to meet them?" She asks.

There's curiousity in her tone and gentleness and Missy knows that if she said no her oldest friend would help her out the window right now and escape with her.

She's never been shy though- not like that- so the Mistress takes the Doctor's hand and squeezes, fingers wrapping securely around hers.

"I'd like to." She says, staring into her eyes.

The Doctor smiles a little sadly.

"And you will again with your next regeneration too." She affirms.

The Mistress smiles though it's quickly lost to pain.

"Yes. Of course." She says under her breath, knowing the Doctor would catch it.

* * *

It isn't long before everyone is back on the TARDIS and introduced.

Nardole seems very glad to have the two Masters off his hands and has decided that instead it is now his job to warn Yaz, Ryan and Graham about the dangers of them.

The Mistress sits with the Doctor, watching over them, the Master safely confined where he can't do any harm. Her legs hang over the railing as she leans against the Doctor.

"It's almost time, isn't it?" She asks, hand gently brushing the Doctor's thigh.

There's no response.

"You're putting it off." Missy accuses and the Time Lady besides her stiffens, smiling brightly.

"Putting what off? I'm not putting anything off!" She says just a little unconvincingly before her smile drops and she lets her head loll onto the Mistress' shoulder and lets out a frustrated sigh.

"I just- it's not fair. You've- you're who you are now and your reward is just-" She cuts out, losing coherency as she gestures frantically with her hands.

Missy huffs, both amused and sad.

"It's not like I don't deserve it." She murmurs, eyes fluttering closed.

"I have done a lot of bad things. To you. To strangers." The Mistress speaks, voice barely over a whisper.

"No. You don't deserve it- to be killed by-" The Doctor starts, eyes furious as she grips the other Time Lady's arms and shakes her a little.

Below them Yaz scoffs somewhat loudly at something Nardole says.

"She doesn't look very dangerous. The Doctor looks more dangerous than her right now."

The Mistress smiles a little, resting her forehead against the Doctor's.

"It's exactly what I deserve." She says finally, raising a hand to gently cup the Doctor's cheek.

"So please stop stalling."

* * *

So this is the end! It's been a fun ride and thank you for reading along! I would keep writing but there are so many rather delicious endings and I cannot choose for the life of me so we will end here and everyone can choose their own! Thank you!


End file.
